Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
