i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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