I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
foreskin is a definite game changer
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
