:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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