don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
