That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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