it was like his penis was on wheels.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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