I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
