I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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