Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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