all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
