You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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