Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
