I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
