I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
