You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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