Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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