just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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