a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Help. Why am I so naked?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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