apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Text me some of your sweat
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
