dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
