Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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