I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
