Your face is a jimmy john
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
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I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I woke up under a house in Key West
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