I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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