margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
