I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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