it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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