It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
