She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
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What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
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My dad just said "fuck circus"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Come share oat with me in your robe
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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