What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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