Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
