Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
