ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
