You're my little dorito
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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