im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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