people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize