then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
