bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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