It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
