When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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