was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
