all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Randomize
