of course. lets lasso hookers.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
