just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize