Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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