so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
