We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
