I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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