take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
