i love accidental penises.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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