If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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