Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
organizing the empties. That sober.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize