i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Randomize
