Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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